google circles

I made some new Google+ circles for incoming Facebook friends.

Add me! (but only if you’re going to post animated gifs all day every day).

Full Google Circles Walkthrough (with audio)

Welcome to Google Circles, the exciting new social networking platform from your friends at Google. If you’ve used Google products in the past, you’re going to feel right at home with Circles! We’ll help you keep in touch with your friends, share your life experiences and have fun, all with a user interface that you’ve come to expect from Google. Let’s take a look at some the key features that set us apart from the other social networking platforms.

Zero Set Up. Thank you for sharing all of your information with Google over the years. We really appreciate it! Now we’re going to return the favor by building your Circles account for you with a single click. We’ve safely stored your name, date of birth, address, social security number, sexual orientation, credit card numbers, fears, hopes, dreams, blood type, communicable diseases, body mass index, fingerprint, perversions and the name of your pets. Once you click Sign Up your Circles account is automatically created with all of your current information.

Building Your Circle. Other social networks scan your contact lists for your friends, but that can yield a lot of false positive results. You’re not friends with AAA or your dentist’s receptionist, right? Google Circles goes one step further by scanning your previous Google searches for names and automatically adding them to your Circle. Remember that time you searched Google for Brianna Mansour? Surely you remember Brianna, you both lost your virginity to each other in high school. You searched for the phrase “brianna mansour dead in car wreck please” on April 16th, 2006. Well, you don’t need to search for Brianna anymore because she’s in your Circle, and she’s doing great! This is just one example of how we can help you build your Circle thanks to the extensive records we’ve been keeping. You’re welcome!

Staying in the Loop. We can also use your daily search history to craft perfect status updates. You don’t even have to do anything, just go about your daily life and Google Circles will handle the rest. Based on your Google searches over the weekend, we’ve created the following status update for you –

Today I’m taking the 6 Train to 33rd STREET LEXINGTON, and walking to 570 SECOND AVENUE – AMC LOEWS KIPS BAY to see “Gnomeo & Juliet 3-D” (1 ticket). Then I’m walking to the nearest Old Navy for size 44 x 28 pants. What do herpes smell like? Then I’m going to eat lunch at McDONALD’S MUST HAVE BALL PIT KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY.
Privacy. We take privacy very seriously.

Raise Your Voice! Are you one of the millions of satisfied Android or Google Voice users? Try syncing your phone to your Google Circles account and get ready to have some fun! Randomly throughout the day we’ll record your phone conversations and post them to your page, so you and your friends can listen to your personalized audio time capsule! We call these Voice Updates. Who were you talking to yesterday? Did you talk about Google Circles? Maybe you had a conversation with someone stationed overseas! I’ll bet you hope we randomly recorded that one. We’ve recorded one of your conversations and posted it to your Circles page as an example, take a listen:

Google Circles Voice Update

Come Full Circles. We’ve spent years working on Google Circles, building the platform from the ground up with the help of your personal data. We couldn’t have done it without you! Over the next few months we’ll be rolling out even more advanced features that will change the way you think about social networking, privacy and the legitimacy of some of our competitors. We think you’ll agree that Google Circles is three hundred and sixty degrees of fun.